It's been a whole year since I came home...

Hey friends, I hope you’re all doing well!

Happy International Women’s Day to all you strong, beautiful, powerful ladies out there. Keep shining.

I wanted to write a little something because 1) I need to get back into the swing of updating this blog and 2) It’s been a whole year since I came home from my travels.

I wanted to take a little time to reflect on this past year and thought I’d share it with you guys...because my god it’s been a weird and wonderful ride.

This past year has felt like a constant state of slight confusion...aimlessly trying to figure out whether it feels like absolutely everything is happening, or absolutely nothing is happening, or both at the same time.

A year ago, I arrived back in the UK with no job, not a lot of money, and a whole lot of anxiety about where my life was heading. After 7 whole months away from home, my mental health had hit an all-time low whilst living and working in Melbourne. I’m a grounded and full-hearted person, but I was becoming completely unbalanced and empty. I needed to come home to be close to the people I love and become full again.

I was reading back over my journal from a year ago whilst I was still in Melbourne and a few sentences really stood out:

‘I don’t know what I’m going through or what the universe is trying to tell me, but I’ve decided to go home. I need to recalibrate’.

‘I guess I’m ready to just go home and feel the same as I did after graduating - lost and confused and bewildered’

Just a week after I arrived home to the UK, Australia shut its borders. Friends of mine who were still out there had to pay thousands to get on the last flights leaving the country. The thought of being in Australia back then, in the state I was in, not knowing the next time I could go home was terrifying. I had definitely made the right decision, and at exactly the right time.

That being said, my first few months of being back home were very rocky. I was struggling to stay in a positive mental mindset and was hating myself for it. I had just completed an incredible solo adventure to the other side of the world and back, but because my thoughts were unstable, the uncertainty of what the pandemic meant quickly turned into unhealthy negativity. In low moments like that, no matter what anyone says, it feels like it will never get better. With the help of my friends and family, I learned to stop putting pressure on myself and really allow myself the time to heal.

Another journal sentence about mental highs and lows that stood out:

‘When you’re out of it, it feels like a distant moment, when you’re in it, it feels like you’ll never get out.’

I’m thrilled to say, that a whole year later, I’m most definitely feeling like a much better version of myself. I don’t feel lost, and I don’t feel bewildered. Of course, there are bad days, but after seeing how far I’ve come, the bad days are always cushioned by gratitude and self-compassion.

The sun is shining for longer each day, and as we roll into the spring and summer months, we’re beginning to see glimmers of the unlimited, electric current of life that brings us all together.

To finish off this post, here are 15 things that I kind of already knew, but that have been really brought to the surface over this past year:

1. You always need to make time for things that make you happy, and these things don’t always need to be or feel 'productive' towards achieving goals or milestones in your life.

2. Your mind and body are connected more than you think.

3. Saying 'it could be worse' when things are bad is like saying 'it could be better' when things are great - it doesn't really help or get you anywhere.

4. Understanding what you're truly grateful for is powerful, and keeping a gratitude journal is great.

5. Cats are sometimes (often) better than therapy.

6. The sun lifts my mood.

7. House plants make me calm.

8. Burning a scented candle makes me feel cozy and safe.

9. Yoga is all about connecting your breath and your strength.

10. Other people are always way too into themselves to notice 99% of the things you’re worried they’ll notice about you.

11. Imposter syndrome sucks, and it’s important to feel proud of yourself.

12. You're always probably doing better than you think.

13. The way people say things often has more of an effect than what they’re actually saying.

14. You don't always have to treat your body like a temple, but it sure does make a positive difference to every aspect of your life if you do.

15. You have to take care of yourself before you can try to take care of others.

That’s all for today!

Until next time,

Big love,

Belle x