I was debating writing about my feelings stemming from the current state of the world, because, well, I know there will be people out there who disagree with what I have to say, or think I'm wasting my time providing un-useful information. These are things we have to accept when we post anything online.
Then I thought, posting something that isn't perfect is probably better than not posting at all. The reason why people stay silent usually stems from fear of getting it wrong. Let's be real, we're never going to get it completely right, and there's actually a lot of power in admitting you simply don't know. I guess it's important to remember that it's more about trying to ‘get’ it right rather than trying to ‘be’ completely right. Me posting this article is not going to change the world, but it will have some sort of influence within my own sphere. And that's a starting point. Take everything I say with a pinch of salt and remember that just like you, I'm still learning.
I'm not going to go on and on and tell you why or how you should care about what's happening in the world right now. Or why it's important to use your voice and be the change. Because, well, we know this. We all care, and we're all doing the best we can to cope with this new age of information overload. And heck, it can get really overwhelming. I’m just going to have a little moment mentioning some important things I think you should hear.
I don't know about you, but I tend to overthink a lot. It's something that I'm gradually learning to accept about myself. I'm a deep thinker, I'm a bit of a perfectionist and I'm quite sensitive. Learning how to better deal with my emotions during this whole COVID19 pandemic has been quite the struggle. It's been a struggle for everyone. And as soon as we felt like we were getting into the swing of things, an old crisis that has been going on forever that also desperately needs our attention and cooperation is brought to the surface. And believe me, I think there's still lots more deeply pivotal moments to come in 2020.
To be honest, out of this whole crisis, I've felt the worst I have over the past few days. I've felt helpless, angry, confused, and tired (amongst other things). It's easy to forget to be hopeful and let your pessimistic side take over. These negative feelings stem from constantly being overexposed to a lot of overwhelming information. We constantly put ourselves down because we think there's something more we should be doing.
Yes, social media is a great platform to show you care and gain insightful information from others. But however you decide to show you care, someone out there will criticise you and say you're doing it wrong. That's just the way it is. But don't let this stop you from posting. Remember to take everything at your own pace and do what you can. Also, remember that it’s what you do offline that really counts!
It's easy to get wrapped up in the media and feel shit about yourself. You have to find a balance that works for you. How are you meant to put up a good fight and stand up for your beliefs in an effective way if you feel shit about yourself? You can't. I mean, you could, but I doubt it would feel meaningful to you or to others. We have to remember to also take time away and take care of ourselves. Have healthy and inspiring doses of media, but don't fall into a rabbit hole.
I was listening to Berné Brown's podcast 'Unlocking Us' this morning where she speaks with author Austin Channing Brown, who wrote the book 'I'm Still Here, Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness'. I highly recommend giving this podcast some time if you haven't done so already. There's a bit in the podcast where they talk about our ego. The ego is powerful, everyone has one, and it begs for protection most of the time. Everyone on this planet also gets shit wrong. We get shit wrong all the time. When we get shit wrong, our ego is damaged.
In order for us to head towards real, meaningful change, we need to become comfortable with listening to our ego, but for the right reasons. We need our ego to protect us to some extent, but we also need to know when to let go of it.
You need some space away from the media to focus on protecting your own mental health? Fine. You want to avoid having an uncomfortable conversation with your friends about race because you're afraid you'll say something wrong or offend someone? Not so fine.
People need to stop using 'oh, but I'm just always nice and considerate I just don't really want to get involved' as an excuse to not speak out. Yes, you might offend people or get it a bit wrong at first, but so what! Don’t let that fear stop you from starting. We're all becoming better at being comfortable with having uncomfortable conversations, and we need to keep this going... forever.
This time is not about showing how much you care on social media so that people think you're a good person... it's about all of us becoming better human beings. To do this, we need to jump over the hurdle of our own ego and be ready to put the lives of others before our own.
Make small changes in your life to educate yourself and be ready to feel really confused and pissed off. Understand and be okay with the fact that change is not going to happen overnight. Understand and be okay with the fact that we're never going to be perfect, and that we all have a long and uncomfortable way to go. But also understand that it's okay to put yourself first sometimes so that you have a healthy and happy soul within which you can ground your beliefs and contribute to change.
That's all for today folks. See you next time!
Big love,
Belle x
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