"So, how are you guys all feeling?" asked our tour guide as we returned to our seats on the bus. No one spoke. Our tour guide could sense our bewilderment and and gave us some time. We sat in silence, emotionally drained, as the bus pulled away. "I need a beer" said my friend Mike, breaking the silence. "God, me too" I said. This was just after we had full day of touring around the Killing Fields and the S21 torture prison in Phnom Penh back in October.
For such a bright and vibrant place, Cambodia has an extremely dark and terrible recent past. From 1975 to 1979, Cambodia was ruled by the Khmer Rouge, a brutal regime led by the marxist dictator Pol Pot. In these 4 years, up to 2 million people were killed, meaning the Khmer Rouge was pretty much responsible for the worst genocide of the 20th century. After having done quite a bit of research about the history of Cambodia and reading First They Killed my Father (Loung Ung), I was really looking forward to visiting these historic sites and experiencing them first hand. What was it like to visit these sites? In short, absolutely harrowing, incredibly fascinating and truly unforgettable.
Choeung Ek Killing Field
First we visited Choeung Ek, the most well known of over 300 killing fields throughout Cambodia. After the fall of the Khmer Rouge, mass graves of 8,895 bodies were discovered in this area. Among the dead were many former political prisoners who were kept at the S21 torture prison and other detention centres around Cambodia. Marked by a Buddhist stupa, this site is now a memorial. The stupa has glass sides and is filled with more than 5,000 human skulls. Admission to the site costs around $6 and I think you pay $2 extra for the audio guide, which is definitely worth it. The audio guide was extremely informative, composed of a heart-wrenching narrative and real stories from survivors.
There are so many cases of genocide in history. To be present in the exact location where such awful things took place was surreal and shocking. You don't want to believe that the stories you're hearing are real, or that millions of people were murdered right where you're standing, but seeing scraps of bone and teeth on the ground and dusty old clothes once worn by children hits hard. The lump in your throat doesn't stop hurting and tears are inevitable. It's hard to believe how humans can treat each other in such inhumane ways.
S21 Torture Prison
Next stop was the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum. Formerly a secondary school, this site was used by the Khmer Rouge as Security Prison 21 (S21). From 1976 to 1979, an estimated 20,000 people were imprisoned here. Listening to the guided audio tour whilst walking around the abandoned secondary school was eerie and unsettling. There's 5 main buildings, in which each classroom was converted into tiny prison and torture chambers. The same metal torture beds used can be seen standing hauntingly in the middle of each room. When walking through the prison cells, I saw real blood stains on the ground. The images you see and the stories you hear remain with you forever.
Towards the end of the tour, there are survivors sitting next to their stands selling their survivor stories. There were only 12 known survivors to come out of S21, 7 adults and 5 children. One child died shortly after liberation. The two men I saw selling their stories were Bou Meng and Chum Mey. Both these men were kept alive because they were skilled. Bou Meng is an artist and Chum Mey was skilled in repairing machinery.
Seeing these survivors in the flesh and trying to fathom the extent of pain and suffering they were faced with as I looked into their eyes really made my heart ache. As I walked by, I stopped briefly, took a deep breath and smiled as I held back tears.
Putting the pieces back together
It was shocking to find out that none of the western world really realised what was happening in Cambodia until it was too late. Although Pol Pot was overthrown by Vietnamese troops in January 1979, he remained the head of the Khmer Rouge and carried on guerrilla warfare against the government in Phnom Penh until 1997, when he was put on trial and finally lost his leadership position. I just couldn't believe he remained an authoritative figure for almost another 20 years.
For so many innocent Cambodian people, their worlds were completely shattered apart. Even today, the Cambodian people are still picking up these shattered pieces and putting them back together. But the pieces aren't being put back together to match how they were before, they're being put back together to be stronger and more beautiful than ever.
Big love,
Belle x
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