Hey lovely humans, sorry I've been a bit rubbish at posting lately. With only 34 more days until I leave, I've been working a LOT to save up the pennies. But, since it was raining today (gotta love British summer), my shift was cancelled... because you know, not many people want ice cream in the rain. Any ways, I've had a very relaxing day eating a shit ton of food and watching Queer Eye, but then I thought hang on... my blog!
As I said before, I'm still very new to all of this. It's one thing to start a blog, but it's another thing to actually be consistent and maintain an audience... (which is obviously what it's all about!) I can guarantee some of you guys reading this probably forgot I even had a blog... which is totally fine because I did too for a little bit! I think I sort of slipped into thinking that it's cool to take a step back because I've now achieved my goal of starting a blog. We all get caught up with other things in life. Writing a post isn't that easy either, it takes up quite a bit of time, which is probably why I've been putting it off. It could also be because I've been working long hours and just haven't been that inspired to write. Serving ice cream to rude tourists all day (they're not all rude, most are lovely) doesn't really give me much inspiration if I'm honest. However, the people who read my posts mean a lot to me so I need to start making time to just write, even it what I have to say is short and sweet and a little bit stupid. As I was lazing around in my PJ's today I thought I'd download that countdown app to see how many days I have left in the UK... it's only 34. Not very long AT ALL.
Seeing that number of days and the seconds tick down gave me a nervous pang in my stomach so I thought... let's write a blog post and let everyone know how I'm feeling. I suppose some of you probably don't really care how I'm feeling... but truth is, I like talking about feelings. I don't think people talk about them enough nowadays. We're so consumed by work and information overload that we sort of forget to check ourselves and acknowledge the emotions we experience. These emotions then build up, they get left unnoticed or misunderstood...until it's too late to even understand why you're feeling the way you are. Blah blah blah stop trying to sound like you're a psychotherapist Belle ... where was I? Oh yeah, how am I feeling? Truth is... I am absolutely shitting it. I don't think my brain has fully comprehended that September 3rd is literally just around the corner and I'll be stepping onto that plane with no one by my side other than my backpack. I still feel like I have a million things to sort out, but I've been doing little bits day by day to prepare for my departure. Visas, vaccinations, insurance, saying goodbye to my friends etc. It's a lot to think about.
I may be shitting it, but I also really can't wait. I guess I would say I'm now feeling ready. I know I said in my previous post that you'll never really be ready for these types of things, but you can take time so that you're more ready than you already are. A year ago, back when I graduated university, I wouldn't say I was ready. To be honest, I was pretty lost. But looking back, I needed those horrible months of confusion and panic to make me stronger and more ready for the next step. And now it's happening!?... in just 34 days?!
I'm absolutely ready to stop making 5,000 ice cream cones a day for rude tourists. I'm absolutely ready to see the bigger picture, step out of my comfort zone and experience really great highs as well as really rubbish lows... I'm absolutely ready to see new parts of this beautiful world and make unforgettable memories that will give me more perspective and clarity than ever before.
Watch this space!!
Big love,
Belle
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